I Am Not Very Nice

Hai people..

The last time I wrote was this year April, and now I am writing again.. HEY! I'm getting on a little more on the blogging thing.

Moving along, my statement "I Am Not Very Nice". Recently my family had a short vacation in Gunung Jerai, Kedah. On a side note, you guys should check it out, if you are the type of person that loves flora and mountains and cool morning view from on top of the mountain, you should really check it out.

Okay, anyway my family went on a weekend trip and unfortunately I couldn't go because my Mr couldn't get off work. So we had to stay behind. But it was cool, I had a wonderful weekend with catching up on books that I have been meaning to read, had a lazy Netflix marathon weekend and wonderful quality time with Mr. Moving along, when my family got back they were feeling sorry that I couldn't join them. But all I said was "Oh, its okay. I had fun anyway", and my family was actually hurt by what I said.

Then I realised, what I said was actually mean. It implied that I was having fun preferably without them around. Here they were, thinking about me on the family trip wishing I was there so I could have fun WITH them, and here I am going all I'm having fun WITHOUT them.

So, that is where my title of today's blog came from. Because all this while i thought I was the nicest person in my family. If you needed help, Im there, or if you need a favour Im also there to offer a hand. Most of my weekends and sometimes weekdays will have a little of responsibilities that I have to do for my family members, which always makes me think that I am the nicest because I incorporate their lives in mine, but what I said was just plain mean.

It knocked me a few inches down, I didn't realise that actually I felt that I was sitting on a self-made pedestal all this while. I felt that people owed me, for the time that I gave them and felt that I could say anything I want because I am never mean them. But I was wrong.

Thinking about yourself as a positive empowered person is not wrong. But thinking that you are better than others is totally wrong. I knew thinking that I am better then people IS wrong, and I would NEVER do that. But actually I WAS INFACT DOING IT! I was thinking I was better of without my family, that is why I didn't think by saying I had fun during the weekend without considering their feelings. I could have said it in 1000 other ways but I choose to say it callously.

But I am thankful that I realise what I said was wrong, (also thanks to my sisters who pointed it out). I think we all should always take a momentary step and reevaluate ourselves, because we as adults knows what is wrong and right, what we should do and should not do. But sometimes it is not the case, because we may not realise we are already doing it.

So today, I stepped down from my self made pedestal and started to take extra caution in making sure I am a nice person. Before I say something bad about another person I STOP and reflect on my own behaviour. I hope this writing will remind you and myself to reflect on our behaviours time and time again, so we can constantly be nice and possible make the world a less mean place.

Thank you for reading my rambles, and I honestly hope you have a wonderful day ahead.