First Day Jitters

Hello...

Now it's 11PM and I should be getting some sleep but all I can think of is how nervous I am for tomorrow...

Well today's post I want to talk about first time jitters. I believe I speak for everyone that we have at one point of time in our lives has had first day jitters. "Jitters" I guess it's a hippi way of saying "there are butterflies in my stomach". Jitters is not by far anxiety. Small nervousness that may be overcome, nevertheless it is still there and apparent.

Before I talk more about it, I should tell you what I am jittery about. Tomorrow is my first day of work at a new company! I am soooo jittery I cannot shut my eyes. I know I should be sleeping so I could get a good night well rested sleep, but I can't!

In my head multiple scenes are unravelling one at a time. For example, what if I went to work and somehow fall down flat on my face? Or if I am so nervous I might babble nonsense. Or if I went to work and my shoe broke. Or what if I was late? Or did I get the dates mixed up? Or what if my boss don't like me. Or what if my colleagues don't like me. Or what if I just think it's a bad mistake all together? What was I thinking leaving my comfortable safe zone job for a new one?

One by one these scenes and thoughts unravelling in my head, crowding my head and making me more and more jittery by the moment. But, I don't beat myself up about it. I know that the thoughts are normal thoughts that everyone will naturally feel when you have your first something. Because we want and hope the first day will be amazing and hit such a perfect note that by being perfect is the only way to go. Our expectations are as such that the first day might carve the perfect year or perfect beginning.  First day at school, first day doing your new year resolution, first day as a youtube, first day as a blogger, first day as a wife... there are so many first days that we will experience.

Wanting to have an amazing first day and expecting perfection is not wrong. Having jitters are not something to be worried about too. But we shouldn't let the jitters cloud our sense in experiencing a potential milestone in our lives.. don't you think so?

I believe when you are too nervous your energy will be directed to your ugly thoughts, which may or may not occur. However if they DO occur, always always ALWAYS have a good sense of humour about it. We are humans after all, and we tend do be clumsy or silly or act a little foolish sometimes.

As I know jitters are normal human feelings. And everytime I get my first day jitters I will try and calm myself down by doing the things that makes me feel happy. Having a chat with Mr always soothes me, playing phone games, getting lost in a good book, or just generally unwinding on my bed.

Now I am off to bed before I get panda eyes in the morning. Wish me luck!

Oh and incase you are going to experience your very own First Day.. I wish you all the luck in the world.

Nites..

Change

Hello..

I guess I literally write on my blog once or twice a year. HAHAHA.. I want to say I use to not have a computer or sometimes I just don't have time... but I know all that is just reasons and procrastination. 

Well today I am going to talk about change. In 2017 I have had a few changes, that is worth mentioning. The first is me and my other partners decided to close Pies and Bakes for good. Now this happened quite sudden and in a blink of an eye but nevertheless it was a difficult decision to make. I have worked with Pies and Bakes almost 7-8 years and when the day we stopped production I honestly didn't know what to do with myself. 

The second change is two of my closest colleagues from work left the company for a better opportunity leaving me more or less alone. (Not to mention with a ton more workload). Having both of my workmates leaving at the same time was a bit difficult for me because we worked marvellously together. Whenever there is a project to be managed I would only work with them and no one else. 

The third change which happened this year, 2018. Is that I quit my job. 

Now, everyone has their own definition of change, whether it's good or bad or nothing significant. But for me the above changes that happened to me was both good and bad. I wanted to feel sad and upset and grumble, because I like how things are now. I don't like change because change means scary and uncomfortable. During the whole time of me being moody and difficult I forgot that change is what you make of it. 

I forgot change may look difficult now but it may derive to something better. 

I took a moment, I took things one day at a time, putting one foot in front of the other and tried my best to make that day amazing for me. 

Closing down Pies And Bakes was a heartbreak. But the lessons I learnt along the way was priceless. No business book in the world could have thought me what I learnt during those years working as a Business Development for Pies and Bakes. And having extra time on my hand, I got to spend it with Mr. I got to take holidays, short road trip and even pick up a new hobby. 

When my two colleagues left for a better opportunity, I got to really show off my managing skill to my boss, and he realising that I am good at my job. Moreover I made new friends, which opened a different perspective in things and we clicked too. I also learned not to rely on my former colleagues, which means I learnt a lot more things and took up more challenges which I honestly think developed me more and more everyday. 

And for me quitting my job, well it's not in vain. I quit my job to head to a new job. Hopefully a better opportunity, a better position. A bigger company where I can learn or relearn more skill and to better myself with the opportunities provided to hopefully prepare me for a better tomorrow. 

I sound like an advertisement don't I? But I honestly feel that. I was...AM nervous about going to work in a new environment with large scale expectations and ways, but nevertheless excited. Because I am giving my self the opportunity to grow. Any life experience is valuable and if you try to get it of a book, it may still not be the same. 

Growing, I think is so important for an individual. Because the world is always changing always adapting, we need to grow to settle in the world full of things you cannot even understand. And without Change there will be no Growth. 

So to those who is going through changes, be brave and take a deep breath. Have faith and put one foot in front of the other. You will realise change as it feels bad is sometimes a good thing.